Five second characters

On one of my daily prowls through Reddit, I saw a thread that went something like this:

“Your username is now the title of a porn. What’s it about?”

Curiosity over took me, and I started reading the thread. So I decided to post one about my username, because that’s a brilliant idea! What started out as a five second character has now spawned into a potential serial story, with episodes and an over all plot arc, major villian included for FREE.

This is how it started:

“The Great Gonzo: episode 26 “Watership Down”

The continuing adventures of the bandit Gonzo, on a quest to find some peace and quiet. This week, we find our heroine trying to survive an all-out brawl between the forces of good, evil, and those that don’t care (Gonzo). Trapped in an underground cavern with a band of pretty useless princes, the group must fight an octopus merman, who holds the princess Marjorie captive!”

Then I ran into a problem.  Well, two problems. 1) I had two possible endings; 2) I’m now attached to the character of Gonzo the Rouge for hire. She’s traveled through out the land, made friends with an orc chieftain (something humans dont’ do), and just been a general badass like Buffalo Bill Cody.

But back to the endings. As I was writing the description, I gave her two outcomes: a dirty one and a not immediately dirty one, but it would probably wind up being dirty later on.

This next part is NSFW if you catch my drift. Continue reading



I’ve come to notice a pattern in my writing habits. It’s a very disturbing one, I must admit, and I hope that all of you can learn from my mistake.

I am not a committed writer.

Now allow me to elaborate.

I’ve found that I don’t compromise very well on several fronts:

  1. I like my sleep
  2. When I’m comfortable, rarely will you get me to move
  3. DISTRACTIONS GALORE! (Reddit, The Daily What, Facebook, and now Google +)

Sleep is my biggest obstacle to overcome. I claim to not be a morning person, but in reality I am. Feasibly, I can be awake by 8 am,  fully functional by 8:30, and writing by 8:45. Realistically, I will wake up at 8 am, look at my phone, check to see if I have anything on my calender for today, then promptly roll over and go back to bed. If I have to get up, I will do so at the latest possible minute that I can with out actually making myself late. I love my bed, and my bed loves me. (At least, I think it does… it hasn’t tried to kill me yet, so I suppose that’s a good sign)

Comfort feeds back in to sleep. My current writing spot is sitting on my bed. Yep, I admit, I can be am a MAJOR slug. I get up, do my usual morning routine (bathroom break, breakfast, take care of doggie), the come right back upstairs to sit on my bed. I’ve tried moving elsewhere around the house, but I always find myself pining for the comfort of my bed. Its a horrible relationship that we have, and a bad habit that I’ve gotten myself into.

And speaking of bad habits, let’s talk about my Reddit addiction.

OH REDDIT. So funny, so addiction to click that next button. So easy to give out up votes and down votes, so easy to loose track of time. It’s a love hate relationship, that all it boils down to is this:


See, this also plays into real life stuff as well.

Recently (like two weeks ago, I’ve lost count), I went to the doctor for a check up. I haven’t been to the doctor in several (five) years, and she gave me some hard news: I am overweight, and I have to lose it.

Tough love here, guys and gals. Its what we all need sometimes. How much do I have to lose? 50lbs (3.5stones or 22 kg for all of you not on the US system.) “A pound a week,” she told me, “I want to see you again in 3 months.” So I made myself (mostly my doctor, but a little bit of me) a promise: I would join a gym and start losing weight and tone up, in addition to changing my eating habits.

Since then, I haven’t done much in the way of changing my lifestyle habits. I hate the treadmill we have at home (in the hottest room of the house, can’t fit anywhere else), going outside isn’t appealing (FRESH air? ICK.), nor is anything else. But the gym… its a mythical place, a kin to Narnia in my head. It’ll be where all the magical weight loss (aka HARD WORK) will happen.

Goals to accomplish:

  1. Get down to 130 lbs in a year (being realistic with some extra play time)
  2. Get active (30 mins of activity a day, minimum)
  3. Get writing (in proportion to activity)
  4. Join a gym and get fit

You guys get to take this little journey with me, so I’ll be updating you before each Monday post or whatever. Just not today, because this is a scheduled post.

ALSO! I still need some more people for guest posts! Details can be found here and I would much appreciate it! I’d rather have something to post than two weeks of silence.

Happy Good Earth Friday!

As my post on Monday indicated, I’m not feeling very inspired these days. I feel like my creativity has been sapped from my body because I’m working almost 30 hours this week for some unknown reason.

Then I watched this video.

And I was still not inspired.

But then I had an idea. I decided to retrace my steps of when I stopped being “inspired”/my creativity pool ran out.

The last thing I remember doing was plotting out my novel’s time line. I remember going from generic points to very specific ones that I wanted to happen.

But plotting is good right? Well… we’ll hold that one off to one side for now.

I also remembered thinking about the writing sprints I was doing. To me, they all fell along the same lines: girls and aliens, with some of my feelings thrown in.

But writing sprints are good, right? I think we may have found the source of the problem.

I’ve managed to sap all the fun out of my writing. Also, I’ve started browsing Reddit, hoping it would have the source to all of my problems. (It’s not, FYI. It only serves as a distraction.)

Its a simplistic answer to a complex situation. Some intrepid reader will find the exact post, but I do remember saying “Don’t plot out everything.” And that’s what’s happened with my novel writing; I plotted everything out, leaving little room for my own spontaneity to shine through.

During the writing process, your own mental health is important to keep in mind. For me, I’m panicking about grad schools, future job prospects, the idea of student loans, and my current job. It’s all too much for my brain. All resources once devoted to creativity have been moved to “rational” thinking.

I’ve given myself homework for this weekend: stop it. Stop thinking about the distant future; stop worrying about things that don’t concern you; stop plotting your characters every move;  start writing something else for a little bit; when you have an idea, don’t write it down, write about it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and get ready for work.